Definition Of Ruinous Empathy
In reality all too often it is ourselves we are sparing.
Definition of ruinous empathy. How to use ruinous in a sentence. In her presentation scott tells the story of how ruinous empathy led to the worst moment of her career. When i first heard about the book i was most drawn to it because of the upper left quadrant the combination of caring personally but not challenging directly. It s very clear to me based on a cursory review of her changing facial coloring the volume and pitch of her voice and her body language that she s not happy about meeting with just me.
We say to ourselves that we want to spare the other s feelings. It categorizes behavior in which someone is trying to be nice in an effort to spare people s feelings by not saying what needs to be said by lying or by just offering a verbal pat on the back. They sometimes amount to what kim scott of radical candor coined as ruinous empathy according to scott ruinous empathy categorizes behavior in which someone is trying to be nice in an effort to spare people s feelings by not saying what needs to be said by lying but lying to the self or others does not an effective communication make. Ruinous empathy is the result of caring for your team but being unwilling to really be honest with them.
Causing great harm and destruction. And yet she won t say anything resembling this even though it s painfully obvious how she feels. Causing great harm and destruction. Bob was one of scott s direct reports.
Ruinous empathy is when you care but are unwilling to be honest frank. This quadrant is called ruinous empathy the term alone resonated deeply with me and the more i learned about it the more i knew it was describing me. We do not wish to navigate the complex and challenging waters of giving effective feedback we do not want to risk emotional blowback we do not want to summon up the courage to deal with.